Bareback Llamas are Evil
by Black Lighted Clouds
Summary: Jamie comes up with a good idea from his trip to the past. Note for the five: Jamie's bright idea's are usually not good ones.


**A/N: I know I told some of you I'd be doing a Po5 fic of a . . . different nature next, but this popped into my head when I was reading my reviews for Language and it's too damn funny to pass up! Enjoy.**

Pedro hated llamas. Being a descendant of the Inca's, you wouldn't believe it. But he did. He hated them with an absolute fiery passion, believing they should go back to the bloody pits of hell where they were no doubt spawned in the first place. The question this opinion begs though, is why? Did he hate them because of their itchy wool? Did he hate them because they looked like a weird hybrid of a giraffe and a horse? No.

He hated them because of Jamie.

It was all his fault, really. It was his idea. Even that time he kicked a football at one and started a stampede was better than this. Pedro had never been a particularly violent person (why else would he have such a passive, but useful power?), however, he was wrestling with a terrible urge to punch Jamie's face in at the moment, though he dare not, lest he face the wrath of Scott, and he didn't want to go there. Scott might poison him during dinner.

Since Jamie and Scott had joined their group to make four (well, six if you included the adults), Matt had been interrogating the younger twin about his trip to the past, eager to learn all they could about their enemies to find anything to use against them. Pedro had been enraptured in listening to what had happened (it sure as hell helped him to understand his resemblance Manco Capac, little bit of a shock, that was), until Jamie had suddenly stopped.

"I've got an idea!" he said excitedly.

"No." Scott cut in.

"But it might help-" Jamie pleaded.

"No, it won't." The elder twin interrupted.

It was still difficult getting used to the whole telepathy thing. Pedro didn't feel safe in his own head sometimes. Usually around Scott. Scott was scary. Not Jamie thought. Jamie was nice.

"I heard that." Scott growled as he stared Pedro right in the eyes.

I rest my case, Pedro thought as he gulped.

"Leave him alone, Scott." Jamie chastised.

"Getting back on track," Matt put in, drawing the conversation away from the Peruvian boy, who was grateful for it. It was so much easier being inconspicuous; he'd had plenty of practise at it over his life. "What was your idea, Jamie?"

"I'm telling you, it's not gonna help."

The blue-eyed boy turned to the doubtful boy. "We have to do whatever we have to do to win this war, Scott. However little or insignificant his idea may be, it could still have it's uses."

Turning his back on the older brother who glared so hard at his head Pedro was surprised he didn't burn a hole right through it.

"Sometimes I wish I could do just that." Scott said as he glanced sideways at Pedro with a smirk. The former street urchin decided to be very careful with his thoughts from now on in the Native American's presence.

"Jamie?" Matt prompted.

"Well, you know how I said the rebellion used horses to get around?"

Matt's black eyebrow quirked upwards. "Yes?"

"Well, the Old Ones like to destroy stuff and the first thing I reckon they'd do would be to destroy technology to make it harder for us to get around so we could fight back. So, how about we practise riding horses?"

Silence.

Jamie's cheeks flushed red. Matt frowned. After a few more moments he said slowly, "You know, that's not a bad idea."

The other three stared in shock. "Jamie's right," Matt concluded. "Destroying cars and anything that would help us get from one part of the world to another quickly would certainly be to their advantage. It's best to be prepared."

Scott scoffed. "Oh yeah? And where do you propose we get horses from, in Peru?" His eyes suddenly widened very slightly and he stared at his brother. "Are you _serious_?"

Jamie smiled brightly. "Yup!"

"Excuse me," Matt forced out, as if he had gritted his teeth. "I know you two are used to being with only each other, but could you keep the telepathy to a minimum when you're also having a conversation with Pedro and I? It's a little irritating."

"Sorry," the twins said in unison, though it remained unspoken knowledge between the four of them that Jamie's apology was sincere and Scott's was to shut Matt up.

"Good," the leader said, relaxing slightly. "So Jamie, what's got Scott so surprised?"

Jamie's smile returned, if possible, brighter than before. "We haven't got any horse, so let's improvise," he waved at hand at the garden visible through the window. "Let's use llamas'!"

XXXXX

So this was how the four of them all ended up sitting on llamas' bare backs in the garden, Professor Chambers looking at them like they were insane (Pedro had a sneaking suspicion the llamas' themselves were doing something similar) and Richard attempting to hop onto one himself. He kept falling off and then getting on and sliding off their back all over again, poor guy. One time he landed on his head.

After a particularly humiliating hour of kicking their heels into the llama's side and yelling at the infuriating creatures to, as Scott said, "Move, damn it!", they got the hint that the humans wouldn't give up until they obeyed them. Then they could go back to their grass in peace.

So they moved. Another hour crawled by. Jamie, having practised during his trip to the past, was the first to make his mount move and have it cantering around the garden. Matt managed to do the same shortly after, somehow convincing the animals to obey him. Scott fell off. Mind you, he took it very well, only swearing once when he hit the ground and without a glare in anyone's vicinity except the animals', though Pedro could've sworn he heard the angry teenager muttering, "Being shown up by that smug moron. . ."

Scott's fury did not improve when he rammed his heels into the llama's side to vigourously and found himself being flung from it's back, across the garden, straight into Matt, knocking his from his position for the first time. Though Matt covered in as much dust as himself and winded on the ground seemed to amuse him as little.

Pedro was having a worse time. He had needed help to get on the cursed creatures back in the first place, much to his chagrin, then it was the last one to move and it wouldn't even move where he wanted it to! It didn't pick up speed or slow down, didn't go left or right, it just kept a leisurely pace in a straight line. Pedro was in a foul mood.

"Come on, Pedro!" Scott called, smiling slightly as he'd now managed to command his steed and stay on it. "I thought you'd be the first one to get this, being an Inca and all."

"Says the boy who couldn't stay on the thing five minutes ago." Richard scolded from his position about twenty metres away from the teenagers.

Scott swivelled round to glare and retort, "Says the man who can't even get on the thing, let alone stay on it!"

Richard scowled, glowering at the ground on which his feet were firmly planted. He stalked over to Pedro. "Here, let me help you out." He pulled the creature with one hand, the other on it's flank.

"I cannot make it move faster."

"Oh, well that's okay, I heard of a sure-fire tip to make it gallop in my days as a journalist." He walked round to stand behind the animal.

"I do not want it to ga-" Richard slapped the llama on its backside.

It shot across the garden like an arrow from a bow. In fact, it went out of the garden and kept on going, faster and faster. Pedro screamed in Spanish, trying to calm the panicking creature and his own growing hysterics.

Hearing more galloping, he risked a glance to his right and saw Matt, on his llama, running full force after him. With a quick move he pulled off as if he'd been doing it his whole life, the English boy swung his animal around in front of Pedro's, hoping to halt it's journey. The llama simply changed direction, bolting to the left as fast as it's four legs could carry it, which turned out to be surprisingly quick.

Just when Pedro was about to give up hope, he was slammed into by something and tumbled to the ground, where he and the thing on him rolled for a little bit before coming to a halt, the thing beneath him. Dazed, Pedro only registered that the something was rather warm and . . . breathing? Moments later, Pedro found himself lifted clean off his feet and shoved in Matt. Looking back over where he had fallen, Pedro saw Scott pulling Jamie to his feet far more gently than he has lifted Pedro.

"You're an idiot! What a stupid thing to do Jamie, you could have broken your neck!" Scott ranted.

"What? He needed help. And you didn't need to throw him like that." Jamie grinned sheepishly at the exhausted member of the five.

"Yes, I did, he was crushing you!"

Jamie rolled his eyes at his protective brother and they both walked over to Matt and Pedro. "Sorry, Pedro," the younger of the two said with that small smile still in place. "You okay?"

He nodded mutely, stunned at what Jamie had done to help him. Said boy continued, "I guess this wasn't such a good idea after all."

He then glared at his brother sideways, who was looking rather smug. "Don't say it."

"I told you so."

"You said it." Jamie sighed.

So, yes, Pedro hated llamas'. But he rather liked Jamie.


End file.
